Favre 4 President

Today I got to see Brett Farve break Dan Marino's coveted record for most NFL touchdown passes thrown by a quarterback in the history of the league. This was a pretty big triumph, and I've always considered myself a fan of Favre. Not only can the man play the sport and throw a ball like pretty much no one I've ever seen (except maybe Peyton Manning), but he also comes off as a really cool dude. I'd like to hang out with him.

While I was thinking on my admiration for the man, I thought about John Madden, as I always do. Madden has a love for Favre that I think can only be paralleled by the quarterback's wife and children. So, anytime I think about Madden, I think about Frank Caliendo, the comedian that flawlessly imitates Madden. He uses Madden's comments and liking of Favre as the central part for many of his jokes about the aging color commentator, and it's fucking hilarious.

One thing that Caliendo often says when he's impersonating Madden is that, "Brett Favre should run for president." Now, I know this is a joke, of course, and I don't think that Caliendo or Madden truly believe that he should run for President of the United States of America. It seems like a preposterous notion.

But do you know what? I think he should go for it.

There's obviously an election coming up in 2008, and there's a diverse spackling of candidates this year. It's very plausible that our country could have it's first movie/television star since Ronald Reagan (Fred Thompson of Law and Order or the legendary Christopher Walken), it's first black president (Barak Obama), Mormon president (Mitch Romney), or female president (Hilary Clinton, in which case I will relocate to the land of Alanis Morrisette and Steve Nash). Why not a professional football quarterback? Gerald Ford played quarterback for the University of Michigan, and as far as I know he didn't fuck anything up too bad.

There are a number of plausible reasons for why I think that Favre would make a great president. Seriously.

He's obviously a great leader. He's become famous for being an unselfish and unpretentious man and player; basically he is all about the team, which is something you don't see as often as you used to in professional sports. I'm not saying that he'd be a communist if he was a president, but I'm saying that he definitely would not be a dictator. He would listen to opinions and change his agenda accordingly, I think, which is a quality that many argue our current president has not been blessed with. I can't really comment on that, since I've never stated an opinion for the man, but I feel like Favre would listen to me when I told him that women should be able to legally vote when they reach the age of 18 (I know this has already come about, but I needed an example).

I also think that Favre may be able to manage the war pretty effectively. This starts with my previous statements, that he would listen to opinions and act accordingly, maybe finding some kind of compromise between what the opinions of all parties and people may be. If it was deemed necessary to actually win the war in Iraq, I think Favre might be able to effectively do that. I don't want to compare war victories to football victories at all, because I know that they are nothing alike and I could piss off a lot of people by doing something so ignorant, but I will say that Favre is used to winning and has a pension for it, maybe more than any other president. Bush, for example, has only owned the Texas Rangers, and in case you don't know baseball too well, they suck.

Another big issue in our country is the people's anger and resentment concerning the current administration's reaction when Hurricane Katrina ravaged New Orleans. Bush and his people have been on the receiving end of some extremely rough criticism over this whole issue, many of it racially and socially motivated. It's no secret that many of this nation's citizens feel that they did not react quickly enough in aiding the people that were stuck in the floods and storm because the majority of them were lower-class black citizens. Rapper Kanye West has gone on record as saying that, "George Bush doesn't care about black people." Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. I haven't asked the man, and I wasn't in New Orleans before, during, or after that natural disaster, and I don't watch Spike Lee documentaries.

What I do know, is that Brett Favre cares about black people, because Brett Favre cares about everybody, due to his selflessness and willingness to be of aid to anyone, including those with heartburn (Priolosec OTC!). If you've ever seen Favre's usual celebration after throwing a touchdown pass, you know that he sprints to the endzone and picks up the player on the receiving end of the pass and literally carries him around on his back. All of his receivers are black, so if there was a disaster, I think it's safe to say that Favre would carry all of us on his back, including black people.

Those are just a few of the reasons that I think Brett Favre should be president, and I could go on with a few more. Maybe I will as election time draws nearer, but right now I must go watch The Notebook with some of my friends.

Brett Favre, September's Man-Crush of the month.