Party Like A Rock Star?

There's a semi-new song out there that was written (ineptly) and is sang by the Shop Boyz--with a Z. It's called "Rock Star," and most of the lyrics are centered around one phrase: "Party like a rock star." This line is repeated again, and again, and again, and again. It starts to melt into your head, and I think that these guys may be in competition with the legendary Mike Jones for the most repetitive rap song ever produced.

I've heard this song a number of times on the radio, and I must admit before I go into all of this that it is a catchy song. You can be driving down the road and it will come on the radio and make you want to bob your head. If Evan is with you, through no real fault of his own (I believe it's pure instinct...the kid can cut rug and I've hated on him about it for years but I feel it's time to give him his due) this may progress rapidly into a lot of moving and shaking that is never really comprehendible or necessary, especially when driving a car.

You start to think, SHIT! I can party like a rockstar...if hip hop artists are now partying like rockstars, why can't I? At least now I don't have to party like a rap star because I really suck at crip walking. That's where the problems begin.

I am a creep. I browse a lot of personal info's and screen name away messages on the internet, which is probably inherently wrong, but don't act like you don't do it. Everybody does. In doing this in the last month and a half, I have noticed somewhere around thirty (slight exaggeration probably, I didn't record stats) middle to upper class white boys and girls with something that has to do with partying like a rockstar on their cyberspace criteria. A lot of them claim that they do indeed party as rockstars do, which is kind of hard to believe. These famous people have quite the reputation for partying hard, but I don't think that most kids have really partied with rock stars or to the extent that they do. Most adolescents and teens don't have two of the things that are required to party in the traditional rock star fashion: 1) assloads of money, and 2) groupies of the opposite sex. Therefore, partying like a rock star just isn't possible for most kids excluding the Jackson 5, Hanson Brothers, Chris Brown, and Bow Wow.

Now if someone were to write a song about partying like rock stars, it would stand as expected that they would namedrop a little bit. Maybe talk about how they did blow with Keith Richards, tripped with Jerry Garcia, shot up with Kurt Cobain, smoked crack with Whitney Houston (I know she's not a rock star really, but I'd accept a lyric about that with open arms), or even just doing with NickelBack whatever it is that NickelBack tends to do.

Instead, they mention the Osbourne family. they say that "they're on a golf course, trippin' with the Osbournes." It's not too far-fetched to think that a member or two of that family may be tripping, but that's not the problme. Can you really envision Ozzy Osbourne on a golf course? I don't think I need to even elaborate.

They talk about how they've seen the Travis Barker show. If memory serves, this show didn't have much to do with partying. It was more like raising a family. And just because you watch a television program about how a celebrity behaves, it doesn't mean that you can mirror them. Case in point: I watch porn, but I cannot do what Ron Jeremy does.

This last example simply had to be saved for the end. In the song, one of the members of the group raps that "me and my band, man/ on the yacht with Marilyn Manson/ gettin a tan, man." They really do say yacht, tan, and Marilyn Manson in one verse. I'm not going to rule out that Marilyn Manson may own a yacht, but I'd hypothesize that it is for some morbid reason...like dumping dead bodies into the deep blue sea off of the coast of California. I'm also not going to dispute that these guys do or have hung out with Manson, but I don't really know. What I am going to throw out there, though, is that the way Marilyn Manson parties is almost certainly not the way that the rest of the rock star world does. He is not normal. Not by any means at all. Also...they say that they are getting a tan with Marilyn Fucking Manson. That fucking guy does not lay out and get a tan. He is one of the palest people I have ever seen, and I don't think it's because he can't add some color, but because he doesn't want to. Anyone that would ever say they'd gotten a tan with Manson on his yacht does not know what it's like to party like a rock star, or in any other normal and socially accepted capacity.

Anyway, most of us, if not all of us, do not party like rock stars party. So why say that you do? Say that you party like a high school senior, or a frat boy, or even an aspiring musician.