March Madness Part 6

I've realized something. I don't like Memphis basketball. I've nothing against the university, or Coach John Calipari, or really any of the players (except Dozier, since he beat his girlfriend up, I guess), but I just don't like the way that they play. I frequently see them on television, since they're one of the best teams in the land, and I'm always rooting for them to lose, and I never gave it much thought until I started writing frequently about March Madness for an English project I'm doing (that's why all of them are on here, and also why they don't contain my usual amount of unneccessary curse words). I did some psychoanalysis and soul searching, and have finally gotten to the bottom of it.

I don't like Memphis basketball because I can't relate to them. They're the most insanely athletic team I've probably ever seen play, and I've never had any experience with that distinct advantage. Sure, I'm not athletic by any means--especially not in my college days--and I can't relate to most Division I basketball players, since I couldn't even make it through a season of Division III competition, but the athleticism of Memphis just seems so amplified to me, since they're above and beyond any other team out there.

When I played basketball, I couldn't run fast or jump high at all. I basically stood in the corner and threw up 3-pointers, and sometimes I was lucky enough to be playing a terribly slow defender, at which point I would drive to the hoop and usually get swatted by some tall dude with a seven foot wingspan. So, I love teams that have to use their heads to play and find ways to win without being so physically talented. I think that's why I liked Adam Morrison and J.J. Redick so much, because I could relate to their struggle and could really admire them for it. It sucked that year, though, since they were the best players in the college game, because my whole "unathletic" excuse lost a lot of its credibility.

Anyway, I'd like to see Memphis lose next weekend, preferably to a team that starts some really slow dudes that pride themselves on being able to touch the glass when they shoot a lay-up, even though they can't dunk.